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Citrus07

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For those of you savvy with the news, you won't be here to read this. To those still here, get out. This site is doomed. I started uploading art to this site around 2009-2010.


This was my place to show the world that I could draw, I could write, I could BE an artist. I used to think I owed my learning of art in all its forms to this website, more than it being just a place to just put stuff here. I shrugged off the whole NFT thing, but this? AI generated art?


No.


Hell no.


The fact that this site's leaders chose the side of destruction for profit, kills me inside.


The fact that I fell into a lie that AI generated art was a tool to be used to further improve my own, makes every cell in my body shiver and retch to no end.


They didn't tell us before they implemented this. Your artwork is already pulled into the ever consuming image pool of 5 million and counting. They use the same image pool of Stable Diffusion. They automatically set every piece of art on this fucking website to opt in, and once an image AI learns them, they cannot be unlearned. They cannot be removed. This website has killed itself.


This is appalling, and I will not be a part of it. You have lost my trust.


I leave you with an excerpt from this video, The End of Art: An Argument Against Image AIs


"the AIs will be very capable of running on autopilot, and they will get just as good at telling stories as they are at making images and videos. They will produce novels, essays, and scripts in amounts that can fill the library-of-babel, each piece a composite of half quotations and unattributed swipings. All this auto-generated text can be processed by the image and video AIs to generate long-format media, and the cycle will be complete, self-contained, and human-free.


Companies will leap on this system, of course, since it’s predictable, consistent, and lacking the hard-to-maintain wetware and mercurial moods of the human artist. They will produce an endless stream of every imaginable film, tv, game, news story, and image as well as every imaginable permutation of each instance of these.


This will completely flood the realm of story and the future will find itself overwhelmingly ghost-written. The “anime” that you’ve been dreaming of making since you were 8, which you are willing to forsake all of art to produce, will get the attention it deserves in this environment–none. And when your dream project, regurgitated in moments by an AI, receives no attention, no clout, and no money, you will rest well knowing you earned it. Not even your mother will be able to find it in the unending surge of the Mega Feed. This wouldn’t be a problem on its own- you were otherwise never going to make the thing anyway- except that you will be ruining the market for everyone who is positioned to pull something off by their own efforts. You will gain nothing and hurt your friends and peers.


The idea that everyone will be empowered to tell their story is one of the few arguments for AI art that compels me, there’s a nuanced discussion to be had here, but I believe it is ultimately bankrupt. It is a nice sentiment, and I can empathize with the frustrations of being an artist who feels their skills do not measure up to the scope of their vision– but we’re overlooking something very important here. You don’t just want to tell your story, and you don’t just want to tell it well–you want it to matter that you told your story. The AIs will rob you, and everyone else, of this.


The execution of your petulant “vision” by the AIs will ensure that no one cares about your story, and that it is washed away in the heaving sea of AI dross. Your art already doesn’t get attention. It’s not going to get any more attention when it’s competing with the unending stream of self-generated and highly targeted comics, novels, images, films, games, and songs. As I’ve said, these AIs will not need to be prompted by humans for very long and will instead auto-respond to the ebb and flow of the internet, current news, real time sales, and even private conversations. After all, we have already readied these inputs for them. We all feel a little uncomfortable when our phone shows us an ad for something we mentioned to our friend over dinner, but what happens when it shows you a movie it made just for you about your break up? A song about that careless word from your mother? A finished version of that comic idea you started researching? You’ll start getting notifications saying- “Hey! Check out one thousand finished versions of your dream!” Our ambient digital systems already have intimate access to so many of the inputs that define our taste- in some sense we sold our souls long ago." End quote


One more thing, just in case my ex is reading this:


In 2017-2018, Nobuhiro Watsuki aka Nobuhiro Nishiwaki, creator of the series Rurouni Kenshin, was fined ¥200,000 for possession of hundreds of child pornography DVDs found in his home and offices.

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I have opened up commissions. I've been debating to myself whether I should make money off what I can do, or not to, because it can be seen as ripping off other people's work. I have decided to disagree. I love making art and I see the models as not just pieces of art themselves, but as another tool to create cool pieces of art with. So, in saying that, I will do my best to link the models and assets I've used to create renders, in the future. I hope I get some replies as to what other people think about my decision.

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Quick note, I never explained this but I always put a timestamp in the title because deviantART runs off american time and I'm always a day ahead. Lol.

Deep breaths 

I went through all my journal entries, and cringed at a lot. But I'm glad things are still around that I didn't delete, it shows how far I've come in a way, and I like that.

I live in Wellington now, have been for well over a year, and it's nice.

I used to work in asbestos removal, dangerous job for pay that barely meets standard australian wages. So I quit that and worked at a vegan fast food place, which I also quit because I was treated badly. Now I'm studying for a diploma in animation and digital design.

I'm most active on twitter and discord, but I come here from time to time because I feel like I need to give back to the community I held so highly for a long time. Here's to you, XNALara. Love you guys. Even if you barely know who I am, lol.

Now? When I'm not studying, I'm screwing around in Blender, SFM, XPS, Photoshop, Sketchbook, and recently Illustrator. I still have a bunch of projects I'll probably never finish, as my mind is just as scatterbrained as it was when I started coming to this site, which I'm pretty sure is 10 years ago now. Jesus. Time flies.


Now for some more personal shit I wanna get off my chest.
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Yesterday I believe would've marked a year since I saw my girlfriend in person. We were on again off again for 6 years, and we finally called it quits for good earlier this year. If you're reading this, you know it was for the best, and I'm glad you've met someone who is a lot better for you than I am/was.

I met someone else too. Like you, she helped me become better. I mean she still does, but that's besides the point. She introduced me to the whole vegan thing, and while I'm still eating the occasional animal meat, at the very least she's opened my eyes to my own diet, and I'm making efforts to change how horrible it's been for the past 4 years.
I'm going to take a jab now. Unlike you, she acknowledges her flaws. Everyone has flaws. It takes a lot of effort to stop blaming everyone but themselves for their own actions, acknowledge them, and instead of doing the same things again, make steps to correcting or changing them for the better. And she's taken strides, not to make me happy, but to make herself happy. I don't think I've ever been so proud of someone in my life.




TLDR I'm happy. I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm happy I'm still alive and breathing.
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21.01.19

5 min read
Jess was sitting alone at lunch today.
It had been a terrible week for her, hearing about complications with the cat she'd known for at least a decade, hearing her parents throw their frustrations at her, and dealing with a socially mute boyfriend. When will this end? She thought to herself, eating a warm chicken salad at her perch, away from everyone. It took the equivalent of a world war to fight back tears of frustration and self doubt every single day this past month. At least this salad is good.

She heard a light four taps on the table in the foodcourt. Looking up, she saw this gangly pale arm outstretched onto the table. It was connected to an overall lanky tall boy with auburn hair and a million freckles on his face, as well as scattered underneath the dark blonde hair on his arms and hands.

"Hi, is this seat taken?" he spoke softly yet clearly.

Jess was taken aback for a moment and noticed everything about him way more quickly than others would. He looked oddly familiar.

"Uh, yeah-- I mean nah, go ahead," she said, maintaining composure.

He sat down with his disgustingly huge double chicken burger combo he got from another store. "So, come here often?" He grinned uncharacteristically.

She was not impressed. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Just a fan." He drank some of his large coke quietly. "What are you doing this evening?"

"Oh, my god." She put her fork down. "Are you like, aware of what year this is? Can't you do this shit online?"

"Yes, I know it's 2028. Can you keep eating? You're making us look suspicious." He took a huge bite out of his burger, humming over how delicious it was. Maybe if he could use his mouth for something else--

"I can't believe this shit. You want me to make you look good so you don't get your ass hauled over to where you belong?"

"Ouch."

She scrunched her face at him with sheer disdain. "Tell me why I shouldn't just move to another table. Tell me."

"Because they're after you too," with a second mouthful of fat burger juice dribbling down his chiseled jaw.

"Bullshit. I gave that life up years ago. Among other things."

"And yet..."

They both noticed the clunking of boots from at least seven people, all following in via the courtyard entrance.

"Well this sucks, doesn't it? I really wanted to finish that burger." He looked into her shimmering eyes. "You know what you have to do, babe."

This sent her right over the edge, and before anyone realised, she stuck her fork right into his eye socket, letting out a ear piercing shrill before both disappearing completely from the visible spectrum.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ugh. Again?" Grunting briefly, Alistair yanked the fork out of his eye with the eyeball still attached. "You know how much these things cost." 

"You've got thousands of those. Grow up." Jess let go of him and they both vibrated back into the visible spectrum. They had ended up on a roof, about a block away from the foodcourt they were in five minutes ago.

She took a moment to notice the rest of him while he replaced his cybernetic eye. A worn out blue t-shirt and sweatpants. He hasn't changed a day, she thought, mentally licking her lips. 

With his replacement eye connected, he blinked a bit before replying. "How's your boyfriend?"

"Still watching anime, as usual. Why do you care?"

"I always have."

"I'm sorry, where were you for the past eight years?"

He paused and held his head in shame. "I... needed to think."

Jess continued. "You know how long I waited for you to come back? Five. Years. That's an awfully long time to wait for someone. What was I supposed to do, keep waiting? Obviously you've been spying on me with your piddly little fucking robot eye because I certainly didn't tell you I have a boyfriend now."

Alistair sighed.

"And you also know how well that's been going," she said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry." He looked towards her. "I could tell you about being on the run because of the whole vigilante thing, but that'd be missing the point."

"So have I," she said softly.

He held her hands gently, looking into her eyes. "I'm really happy you got off better than I have. I'm happy you have a life, and I'm really proud of what you've done and what you've achieved. I'm proud of you, Jessie."

She let him continue, seemingly unimpressed but her heart said otherwise.

"You're amazing, your hair is just as beautifully blonde as the day we met, and your eyes and mouth and lips and nose are equally as mesmerising,  I loved having ramen with you at that place you didn't seem to like, I loved having all of those dinners with you on that balcony with the sake and I loved watching movies with you and snuggling up to you when we weren't fighting bad guys together--"

"This is the same rooftop."

"Huh?"

"The same rooftop we kissed on for the first time."

"I-- well-- that's sweet, but anywhere you go is magical as long as I can be there with you--"

Jessie kissed him passionately on the lips. She missed him. It seemed like their time away from each other melted away and she was back in that beautiful first moment they shared together. He had no idea how much she longed for him.

Turning the kiss into a tight cuddle, with his hands at her waist and through her long silky hair, he cried "I missed you too."

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Hi again and hope everyone's had a good holiday :)

How long has it been since my last journal entry?
I have almost entirely forgotten about porting models.
I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things, and finally learn how to rig/skin because I haven't been doing that at all.

blugh

but i'm good

i moved out of my parents house in july 2015 and have been living up in auckland since then

got a job at mcdonalds too and i'm studying a diploma in ict which is starting to get boring so i might switch to the media design school up here

any way yeah that's me so i'm doing alright and i hope you guys are too
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Featured

Long time no see - 11.04.20 by Citrus07, journal

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